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GRIEFPORN, NEWSDESKS, SA – The Mass Media is in deep mourning, “Why, why, oh why was it not a shooting!,” said long time media monster and reporter Nu Lo, “I was so excited, it was going to be our turn to push new March for our Lives.”
The Washington Post had already reported an AR 15 was driving the truck into the bus full of hockey players and their coach.
“Sure we love sorts of exploitable human suffering, but lets face it, it’s not the same with Gun to blame, a movement to expand things. Video Games, Movies to accuse!” said the Editor-In-Chief.
Clearly some news sources, even openly fake sources, have no conscience about such matters, even we couldn’t help but sociopathicaly engage in such matters.

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Categories Comedy, Satire

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CRAWFORD, TX – An abortion clinic was shut down for using old fashioned methods, due to a Crawford ordinance. “We has no choice,” said officer Albert Busen, “Crawford is very strict, no wire hangers.”
Clinic owner claims some like the old fashioned method, and that many people would be glad not to be born in Crawford.
“It’s an attack on free choice,” says Officer Busen, who has a free abortion and fetus burger with his frequent customer card, “where else will I send my road side freebies when I might have gotten them pregnant?”
“It’s also one of the only places that uses all of what they kill,” Busen praises on, “this town will feel empty without it.”
“But we can’t have any more wire hangers.”
The Mayor was not available.

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Categories Comedy, Satire

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CAPEFEAR, SA – According to stats offered by the South African Officials, huge numbers of whites have been committing suicide in South Africa simply by producing food for the country’s Farm to Table markets.
“It’s insane, people are dying and being maimed in record numbers,” says South African parliamentarian who called himself, “Die you white devil.”
According to him just by growing the very needed food during massive water shortages can get you killed, and all by your own hand. Some have shot themselves with planting their very crops and dragging their lifeless corps in their house completely covered in blood.
A health warning was issued as followed, something called “Kill White Farmers.”

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Categories Humor, Satire

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BUCHAREST, RU – As the tanks hit the former Romania, a probe into the Russian election as to the possibility of inside Russian influence in the Russian Elections making Putin the longest standing leader under suspicious circumstances since Stalin.
Unnamed Sources, not at all made up, said there was huge amounts of Russian Advertising aimed at re-electing Putin.
The rest of this report was torn up by border patrols…..

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Categories Humour, Comedy