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ANIMAL CROSS, BC – Creep Hunters, known for their sterling work at ruining chain of evidence and catching people talking to children on the street, negating the need for any presumption of innocence has become a house hold name, and cause for many run on sentences.
But now it has gone deeper, where a ring of child molesters have been hiding, the victim one young little kitty.

This kitten is named Katie and with an unknown absent parents, she has been hoping the train from one town to the next in search of municipal sights and sounds, what she got, says Roger Child of “Creep Hunters,” is a ring of Mayors passing her town to town (both male and female) in an attempt to spray their “perfect fruit juices.”
“We love Katie,” said Mayor Ifuhktah of MJ City. “All of us in the world of ACNL love Katie, she brings us great joy,” he prattled on while leching. “Hey Lily just got to old,” another Mayor said from the town of NAMGLA. This is the biggest sting yet, but the RCMP can’t help wonder if they are making this one up.
“Of course not,” said Roger Child of Creep Hunters, “We have proof of this systematic abuse.” “We have pictures of them talking to her and sneaking about town and then to the station,” he went on. “The RCMP just can’t handle how much circumstantial evidence of presumed guilt we collect,” Roger Child continues.
In finality he said that he isn’t sure why they find it so necessary to prove it, since they [The RCMP] can do what they do with “terrorists,’ entrap them.

Her mother Katt could not be found for comment or basic interest in her child.

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NEW BERLIN, ARGENTINA – In a final decision, for the sake of pride in the Fuhrer, and the memory of Walt Disney. They could not keep producing a game that promoted the ideals of a Captain America and bashed the SS and their Red Skull.
“We can’t have the Furher’s memory treated this way,” said a Disney official. He went on to say that “the fans should blame the Jews,” and that they should “embrace the final solution.”
Disney plans on rebooting it with a new game, “Red Skull’s Hydra Heroes,” to show off the positive side of offering Jews and homosexuals free transport and funerals and benefit of free labor and Cigarette, Booze free, Vegan life styles.
In a final statement, “Vote Stein” was yelled from Disney’s Once Secret Layer in Argentina.
Disney promises no more attacks on Nazis in future electronic media and asks people to buy their latest Train Simulation Game.
1000 Gold isn’t the end for MAA players, offering a prize of silver to all those who defend their decision.

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TWISTEDSISTER, OH – In acclamation the US Lemon Party endorsed, Bernie Sander’s for President. When asked if he refused it, they said, “he never said he didn’t.” If he does we are ready to accuse him of every phobe in the book. After all he did endorse Super Predator opposition Candidate Hilary Clinton, so he can change his mind about anything.
Super Predator also endorsed her despite past attacks after she bribed him with plenty of free Tyler Chicken and Water Melons.
As for the Lemons, there is no telling if their dream will come true.

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PORNVALLEY, DISTRICT OF COLUMBIA – It was announced, in a desire to inflict something, “worse than water boarding,” Trump is hiring a key advisors from, the Fetish Smut Provider, Kink.com, including but not limit to James Dean.
The site was known to have turned down water boarding as a theme due to it being too soft core. Trump was also excited by the idea of people like James Dean who hold rape charges over their heads, “I really relate to this,” said Trump while trying to Masturbate unsuccessfully to a Water Boarding Video (available at the CIA Gift Shop in Langley).
While Hilary is looking into sex toy tech, to invest in a “Strap on Smart Bomb,” her donors offered to make her if becoming President, Trump is eager to start right at home with Kink. “They and James Dean know brutality,” said Trump, “and I want some and they will get all the defense funds and access they need.” Dean a great lover of Israel is eager to help teach the fine art or tormenting human beings. “It’s for the glory of my people, the chosen children of Israel” he said from the business end of a glory hole.
Many aren’t sure if they prefer to use boredom of watching the porn or using the torture techniques in their pornographic expression.

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NWORD, ALABAMA – Dwayne Murphy made a complaint saying that the word trigger sounds too much like “their word,” as he put it.
“Those racist mother fuckers think we don’t know,” he rages on, “I know they are saying Nigger and replacing the T, how dare they claim to be Niggered!?” He has no idea what he is going to do about it, saying whitey runs everything, so maybe he will just cap some ass.
Colleges are on an alert, not about his threats, someone used a sexist term, putting the terror alert to red.
“Trigger is our word,” said Dwayne, while checking his gun as I slip away.

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Categories Comedy, Satire

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